This is a painful truth for any woman, especially in India where she has to leave her home and stay with the entirely unknown people, she has to adopt all their habits but (Majorly) none of them try to adopt her values or accept her as she is. Even though they have liked her first as she originally is but now after marriage even most of the husbands want her to change and live a fake personality, with this undue expectation they snatch her soul from her body.this is actually unfair and a kind of torture, and then they expect her to make them all happy. Though i will never claim that this is the case everywhere, as even my brother in laws think differently. But in majority of the cases of my generation I have observed this, which raises alarm in my mind.
Please think, without any prejudices, what happens to you when you go to your In-laws place, most of the guys do not go alone (without taking someone from their blood relatives along), if they go you do not spend much time and whatever time you spend the entire family is present to follow their wishes for that time and still they feel it hard, what if you have to change according to the girl’s family and stay with them for the entire life and then they have no right to get angry, always smile and no time is your time it is always as per your wife’s time and her wishes. Will you be able to do that easily? You will never like such a life, I am sure. And no one wants this, but I have seen many times that most of the ladies facing this are feeling uneasy but very few girls dare to speak up, out of those most of the voices are suppressed, and a countable number of them have to become rebels like me :), then only they are heard and at times they are not as lucky so they have to bear unnecessary trouble.
Another mistake we do is bring our daughters a doll and to the sons a gun, which confines daughters’ imagination and makes the sons violent.
Also, most of our families brought up them with a saying that they are ‘Paraya Dhan’, property of someone else. Why? They are also humans and not property. So guys I request you (those who believe in things like this) that your daughters or sisters or wives are not property and they are not to be owned either by you or someone else. Also no need to treat them like a goddess as well because they are humans and they deserve human rights as well, therefore please do not teach them to give up all their rights and be dependent, first what id there is none of father or husband or son is there to support? and second thing even if they are there why to make her dependent on them, they are also the same as your sons and have potential to do every thing under the sky so please please cherish your daughter’s or sisters’ or wife’s talent, support her so that the half of the population do not remain backward. And trust me, if you do not differ their toys in the childhood, they will never let you down in your lifetime.
We tell them that husband’s house is your house but husband and the gang never (unless they are sensible enough) let them be part of the family. So please do not do this with your mothers or wives or sisters or daughters because this is the fact that ultimately they are the bearers of the new generation and if they are not stable in their minds then they will again pass on the same sick traditional mentality to the kids and this vicious circle will go on.
We all understand and agree with the above mentioned things. They are too normal to be noticed but this is high time when the violence and crimes are increasing against females we need to point out such small small things and remove them from our life right now because they actually create a big difference in our lives later on. These things can work any time like a lemon drop in the milk, and that time we cannot even find out that what went wrong and when that our fellow male have taken any adverse step.
Friends you might think of many such things, please share your opinions too and please spread this message too, for the better future of all of us. Thanks !!
Copyright © Rachana Dhaka