Ignorance hurts!! Do not Let them take you for granted, just because you loved!!

It really hurts when you love someone and they keep on ignoring you and not only that they say it all worthless, when you try to make efforts to make it all good.

It was not everything going okay between the two of them, since their marriage, as he started calling her worthless. She used to work as a social worker and when her photos and news used to come in the newspaper, her to be in-laws used to be happy and they used to take that paper and roam around in the village telling people that this is the girl who is going to be their daughter-in-law in the months to come.

But after their marriage these were the same people who started asking her not to work, even when everyone out there was respecting her more than all of them, but they started looking down upon her. And she was sad because even her husband started doing the same, who was highly qualified and have studied even abroad for last ten years.

She was ready to face all of them but not to her husband, whom she loved and she believed that he also used to love her, as he said and he also used to tell her every now and then, that he is proud of her. But he wanted her to be with him after marriage as soon as her assignment is over and later she can start something else in that city. But now he is not even ready to let her complete her tasks, she had taken in hands. And started telling her that she goes to people’s homes for no reason, like a bitch. It was disrespecting for her, because she thought they were people with open mind and not this narrow, but now she was facing the unexpected things.

She tried to talk to her in-laws but none except her mother in law was ready to listen to her. She tried to help her, by talking to her father in law, but he scolded her so she also could not help her in any way and son was not ready to talk to even to his mother, listening and following is beyond imagination, now the brother-in-laws who used to lecture her, she went to them to have some conversation to remove the misunderstandings by knowing their problem, but none of then was ready to talk to her. It was really strange, as forget about meeting such family rather she had never heard of any such people in the present times.

Now, it was time when her husband’s degrading statements were continuously growing and she was still quiet till the eight months of her marriage and had told nothing to her parents as well. But now she was tired of trying to talk to in-laws, none was ready to talk. Everyone was trying to show some fear that this is their uncle’s order and if they try to say something else then it may break their family, but it was strange for her that if the uncle is not ready to talk to her then what kind of a king of the family he is?? And if some can talk to her and the problem can be solved then how this will break their family. But none was ready to understand even this. Also, she got to know by now that all the females have been denied to tell her anything about the family, since she can question it all but somewhere she could see that all the females were frustrated in the family because of this unnecessary pressure on them. They were not allowed to laugh and talk in the normal voice. She was literally shocked to see then talking in the whispering voice when the devil uncle was at home.

She finally had a talk with her father as what to do, though her father was really shocked to know the behaviour of his son-in-law and brothers. He tried to talk to him, but he was not ready to talk as well, since he had no replies for anything, rather he stopped even receiving the calls from his wife now. Now her father called up the devil uncle who had given this teaching to all these guys, and tried to know why this was all happening?? But he could not find any reason except the ridiculous statement that what for the girl needs to work after marriage and also there is no need to talk to her husband everyday. She must stay at home, do house-hold work and learn the farming work as other females do. But he said he had not educated his daughter for this day, and also he reminded him the promise he made before marriage that they will not stop her from work after her marriage.

Now her father asked her, whether she wants to continue with the relation or want to go for divorce, he was actually right, but she was the one who loved this guy a lot therefore, she wanted o continue, even though her father was ready to back her decision for divorce as well, if she says. But she said she will go for leaving the job for a while and try to spend some time with him and went to live with him.

It was already a period of seven months over but there was no communication between the two, except the fights. It was only yesterday when she was sick of crying and running after him to find ways to talk so that they can understand each other. All good and bad ways she had adopted to make him talk to her, but he was just keeping mum. (I still cannot believe that any person actually do this, but her eyes were telling me that she was right).

It was yesterday only when she told him clearly that she was making all these efforts till now just because she cared for the relationship, more than what he said and what she said in anger was deliberate, just to try to make him talk to her. But nothing worked for him and he never made any efforts, she asked him whether this time is going to come again? He said he doesn’t know. (strange). She asked whether he want to continue with her as husband and wife or not? He said nothing. Then she finally said that it was last effort from her side, if he wants to talk and if he doesn’t she will rather choose to die, since she cannot go and tell her parents that she could not make it work. He just asked when she was going to die.

She was just crying and crying, because she actually wanted to kill herself that time but it was just her parents statements (who told her before leaving that they want their daughter back and if he is not ready to be normal they are with her and do not take any suicide kind of coward step just because a stupid guy is not able to understand their daughter’s worth), an their face which stopped her. But she decided not to talk to him anymore now, to make herself fall into her own eyes and this he could read somewhere, therefore, he just went to her (outside) after two hours and tried to talk to her.

She just asked whether he is going to talk to her?? Because she has bear enough of physical and emotional pain, by letting him use her emotionally and physically till date, just waiting for the day he could talk to her, and she doesnot feel anything for him, if he is not going to have any understanding and relation of respect and communication. And he said that everything will happen if both of them will work. She agreed.

But today he stopped talking again, and now the same thing or attitude was getting repeated again, she just tried to ask him what is the news, atleast tell that so that they can talk atleast for five minutes this way, but rather than being happy with this he just got angry and said it is not going to work this way.

She just asked how will it work, just tell and she is ready to work that ways but he just got his ego hurt again (how can someone ask him anything), and started abusing her again.

For her it was the state of enough is enough, yesterday, but after the break by him yesterday, she just again started thinking that this relation can work, and he also wants not to break it somewhere, but how to make it work, that he can get out of his ridiculous thought process, which was part of his family values and he is not able to come out of that. He felt sorry yesterday but now again the same attitude.

I think this is all a psychological frustration, due to the unnecessary pressure put on all of them just to please their uncle, and he is going through the psychological problem, but at the same time, she must not sacrifice her golden time of life at this young age after a mad person, who is not even able to take care for her feelings and give her due respect, otherwise she may be in the same situation after a couple of years and loose her self respect, as he continuously tell her that she is worth nothing and she at times started doubting herself, since she was going through severe stress and she could not get the job in this new country, since her qualification was not recognised unless she completes her diploma, but for that also she will have to pay as he is not ready to help her.

They are just money making machines and not humans and this money is only used for the males and females in the family are not even taken to the hospital unless they are too ill to die. Same had happened with his mother some years back :(.

Friends!! I believe she must get out of this cage of psycho animals, since she has danger to loose herself while making them understand the rationale or practical life. Because we must not give someone the liberty to insult us too much for so long. We You love him doesn’t mean that he can use and through you like an animal and has right to not to respect your dignity. Please do not let anyone attack your dignity like this and hurt you everytime, just because you loved him by heart.

Friends!! Please share, what you have to say or suggest.

Write up copy right: Rachana Dhaka

Picture credit: internet

Published by Rachana Dhaka

I am a law student, a resilient defender of Human Rights, a nomad who loves to know about different cultures and connect them for the better future of mankind and loves to talk to people through poetry or with some write ups. And best of all i love to motivate people and spread happiness around :)

8 thoughts on “Ignorance hurts!! Do not Let them take you for granted, just because you loved!!

  1. Hello, I too have gone through dating someone who treated me like I was important and valuable to marrying him and being treated like I was nothing at all and he started cheating with many women and dismissing me all together. Even in divorcing him, I became nothing more that a financial annoyance to him. No love. No caring. No nothing but anger and irritation directed at me for even crying from the hurt of it all. Thank you for this candid article of love and the value of who we are.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. true dear it happens many times… Especially with the kind hearts 💕… But do not worry because We were, We are and We will always be precious, for the reason that this Nature/universe/God never g anything useless, everything and everyone here is for a reason and with special values. Some fulfill the purpose and some spiol themselves and the people around just for money.
      It’s okay.
      You don’t worry coz you are valuable and needed to the world so just stay away from negative people since even from thoughts about such people take our energy and time from us but we need to use that time and positive energy to make the world a better place to live in.


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